Daily Dwelling

When my husband and I moved to our new home in Georgia to begin working at a new church I walked through one of the loneliest seasons of my life. It was a season where to be quite honest I did not get anything that I wanted and had asked God for. I have always been stubborn and a bit of a “control freak,” and hey, I thought my idea for this season of my life was perfection! I prayed and basically told God what I thought my life should look like in this new season. It felt like a good plan and one that He would be glad to come alongside me in. So many of the things I desired seemed Godly and good so surely God desired these things for me as well, right?

I remember each moment of disappointment so vividly. I remember when the people who I was so excited to come alongside and lead with pushed me away and shut me out. I remember how I felt coming from a church where I got to lead worship multiple times a week to having no outlet at all. I remember sitting with God and asking, “what are you teaching me? Why are you withholding opportunities to do your work from me?” 

James 1:2-4 says. “2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

The joy that James is talking about here is not the same thing as being happy. This joy is one that comes from the knowledge that when we face trials, God is at work. We find joy in the expectation of God’s faithfulness, not in the circumstance. 

God was growing and stretching me. I was unaware at the time, but God was so good to me in this season. He knew what was good and necessary for me. I was still healing from our last church. I was idolizing worship above my relationship with Him. I was basing His goodness off of what His hand gave to me. I was not spiritually ready for a position in ministry let alone any sort of platform. 

At the moment, I was so sad and deeply confused. I was angry with God and He was still pursuing me. He was refining me into who He needed me to be and not who I thought I should be. 

I look back on what that season did for my walk with God and I am so humbled and amazed at the hand of God. When I face seasons of uncertainty or unknown I am reminded how He knew better then and He continues to always know better. 

I hope this reminds you that in whatever season you’re walking in, God is in full control and He knows what is best for you. Surrender your desire to control to Him and submit to His authority. Learn to trust Him and watch Him give you His peace and joy no matter the current circumstance.